Do I have a Mental disorder?

This is a very long one....In social situations i get angry/down (down meaning feeling like im not worth anything and no one wants me there) but dont show it, and i ramble alot. Sometimes im very suicidal, thinking everything would be better without me. I do alot of drugs (cocaine, marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, vicodin, xanax, ecstasy and thats just scratching the surface) and drink alot. I have lots of nervous habits like popping my knuckles, scratching scalp and face, adjusting my shirt pants, playing with hair, etc. some days im very violent and some days im very reclusive, and everything in between (sometimes it doesnt take days to change). I curse alot, im 14, all advanced classes (in which i dont try but still pass), and im atheist. Im very apethetic, sarcastic, and mean to most authority figures. Its been going on for a while, its just been getting progressively worse (im guessing drugs and puberty). what the **** is wrong with me? I know i should see a therapist but my parents dont have the money to take me. I also have 2 alcoholic parents and alot of alcoholism history in the familia, And my brother used to be an addict to alot of stuff but now hes just on weed and alcohol. Again, what the **** is wrong with me?